The "Hegan" (he's a manly MAN!) Next Door.

Forget vegan. Your man's a hegan.

Yes. There is no need to adjust your computer brightness. I actually used vegan and "hegan."

I was informed of this new phenomenon of straight men going vegan and referring to themselves as "hegans" by my partner. She and I are both vegans (and feminists), and we both became vegans for primarily ethical reasons. We're both very proud of our choices.

"Why 'hegan'? What's wrong with 'vegan'? What's the difference?" You may be asking yourself. I'd be delighted to tell you.

These straight men are going vegan, but they're not interested in the principles behind veganism, and they're not in it for ethical reasons or for the environment or for the sake of bettering the life of abused animals, but for their looks and their waistline. And they're straight, masculine MANLY MEN, who don't want to associate themselves with the brand of feminization that male vegetarians and vegans generally endure. That's right, honey. He's putting the HE in "vegan." Goodness forbid that, as a heterosexual male, you should be associated with women or queers or effeminate gay men. They need the WORLD to know that they're not gay, and they're making sure the world knows that they aren't the ones turning into a giant vulva by not eating animals or dairy products or eggs. They're striving for traditional masculinity in what they consider to be a "rapidly feminizing world."

...like heterosexual men haven't been vegans since the start of veganism.

Traditional masculinity: Stoic, repressed, callous, and angry.

Oh, YEAH. We should ALL strive to be like THAT.

Here's the thing, straight men who are vegans (that's right, I'm calling you a vegan) and insist on being called "hegans": This is a sophomoric ploy from an insecure manchild. This is elementary. You're putting an exclusive stamp on it, and telling everyone else who doesn't identify personally the way that you do, that they're not allowed into your "club," because they're a woman, or a man who doesn't like to fuck women, who happen to be vegans. You're making a huge mockery of something that is a serious, life-altering, often spiritual and ethical lifestyle commitment for a lot of people. You're turning other straight men who are fine with their sexuality, their vegetarianism/veganism, and who are secure being CALLED a vegetarian or a vegan, into a fucking punchline. Because you insist on calling yourself a "hegan," you're not making yourself look better or more masculine-presenting. You're making other straight men who are vegans look BAD, because, NOW, people WILL feminize and mock them for identifying as vegans, even more than they already have been. Worst of all, you're adding a hindrance to something that many of us believe we need to try very hard to be taken seriously, and be accepted on the broader spectrum of social-construct.

To call yourself a "hegan" is disrespectful. To everyone. It's sending the message to all of us that we are not good enough. Masculine is not what you're trying to be; it's what you are. And forming an exclusive sect of veganism to exclude everyone who doesn't identify as a straight man doesn't make you look MORE masculine. It makes you look like an insecure little boy.

Any straight man who takes part in a vegan or vegetarian lifestyle, and who is secure and happy identifying as a vegan or vegetarian - especially now - is someone I applaud. I have a much greater appreciation for you now than I ever have before.

Any straight man who identifies as a hegan, however? You have nothing but my contempt.